i removed Google Analytics from my blog. its only purpose was dopamine delivery after clicking “send” on email newsletters. wow, Finland reads my bullsh*t.
and i’m a bit embarrassed it took so long. a whole 7 years ago my friend David and i articulated the futility during an improvised sketch with zero viewers (fitting).
so i challenged myself: what are some other Google Analytics we can live without?
physical
one time a buddy — who will probably see this post — showed off his glucose monitoring system. a chip embedded in his shoulder that synced with his phone. while eating together he said “yo, my blood sugar is soaring.” a few hours later he said “hey, my blood sugar is down.” he was concerned both times.
some people wake up every day and read a 2-digit number on an app connected to a fake wedding ring that sends heart rate data to India every 30 seconds. this number determines their mood. for non ring wearers, watches produce 3(!)-digit numbers following workouts to achieve the same result.
until recently i looked forward to unwinding on Friday afternoon with a rum & coke. it helped quiet the stress from a busy week of meetings, fire drills, and customer support tickets. this habit may have continued if i didn’t identify 3 root issues solvable only by saying “no,” getting better at my craft, and reducing personal income with delegation.
emotional
we want to feel important, so we count our followers. we want to feel valued, so we ignore unread messages. we want to feel admired, so we check if particular people liked our latest photo.
instead of regulating emotions independently we rely on signals. which could be OK if those signals weren’t trying to sell us something. or sell us. we then compare our signals with someone else’s to create a self worth meta analysis.
mental
here again i’m guilty. i have a 2,045+ day streak on Duolingo and the app is worthless. i learned Korean by living in Korea and grinding in cafes with Anki flash decks. going to tutors. forcing my way into non-English situations. the streak is intellectual masturbation.
every morning i read books before getting on my computer. some of these sessions made me who i am today. many of these books haven’t helped me at all. yet i forced myself to finish each one, another “accomplishment” on my library shelves.
spiritual
perfect church attendance is not a badge of honor if the pastor sucks or the church is called United Methodist. a curated playlist of lo-fi jazz will not calm your heart.
practical
last night we went to dinner without our phones. it was just like 2005 and every day before it. while driving to the restaurant there was nothing good on the radio. while waiting for food we had to stare at each other and talk. while eating we were present.
bleep bloop doom is for hospital beds. for the sentient, 3rd party signals are at best an imitation. i only need to ask myself how i’m doing. i only need to ask customers for sustenance. i only need to talk to God to secure eternity.
the fewer numbers we count, the more values we understand.