Escaping the internet

in Life on with 10 Comments

there’s a scene in The Office where Dwight calls the internet a fad. we laugh because he’s wrong and out of touch, but he doesn’t have to be.

the most connected people in the world pay good money to “disconnect.” it’s a trend to leave one’s phone in another room while sleeping. but nobody seems to ask themself: if the internet sucks, why not avoid it?

i was born in 1990 and bought my first smart phone 19 years later. so i’ve lived most of my life without the internet in my pocket. i have fond memories of fumbling MapQuest printouts in my ’98 Chevy S10 (extended bed, camper top). setting Friday night plans on Tuesday afternoon was peak living. remember catching up with a friend versus stalking them online?

some may argue it’s worth bifurcating the internet into “digitized content” and “bad ideas by people full of sh*t.” but these days they overlap so much i wonder if that’s a distinction without a difference. and labels aside: do you typically feel better or worse after browsing the internet?

my first child is due in a couple months and it’s difficult to imagine tweeting as a parent. why would i argue with a childless blue haired atheist about Islam’s (in)compatibility with Western values? why would i tolerate The Algorithm showing me prostitutes on my social media feed? have we lost our mind?

so i’m fixing it. but it’s unhelpful to quote The Network State or similar elitist fantasy intellectual porn. i’m not going to buy an island or move to the 3rd world. i’m going to stay where i am, with conscious ignorance of my surroundings. i’m bringing back the 90s.

the plan:

  1. delete all my tweets (in progress, rate limiting sucks)
  2. set bills to auto pay (+ hire someone to monitor fraud, overages)
  3. downgrade my phone (currently 24/7 do not disturb, ordered a Minimal Phone)
  4. buy books (vs query words) when i get curious
  5. watch movies > shows to avoid the zeitgeist
  6. cancel my newsletter tool (this post will be my last email broadcast)

everything above should be easy because i don’t listen to podcasts, watch sports, or know anything about brands or celebrities. i don’t get fomo for events or people. i don’t have a permanent phone number. i don’t care about discovering new nutrition tips or coding languages. i prefer suffering. i prefer using my hands. i prefer the real world.

subscribe to my blog via RSS or visit me IRL. i will continue reading email, Slack, and Discord chat messages until i exit ongoing concerns.