one time someone asked me what it’s like to have more than you need. i said it’s like going to a buffet: you can eat whatever you want, but you might get sick.
putting aside my house, day to day i’m an average spender. i don’t have nice clothes or a watch. i don’t fly first class. i don’t drink premium alcohol. we cook almost every meal.
in 2021 i splurged on a PS5 in a dark alley of Seoul, Korea at a ridiculous 40% markup. i also got 4 or 5 new games, most of which i didn’t open as i only play Battlefield. unwrapping FIFA months later literally made me feel sick.
so duh, consumerism is unfulfilling. we’ve all felt it, even (especially?) if we couldn’t afford to. consumerism leads to nihilism or worse. at a conference last week multiple speakers mentioned falling into a deep depression after selling their companies for millions.
but what if consumerism could match our teenage visions? what if buying a new gadget could make us happy? OK, maybe that’s a stretch. but purchases can grant a bit of fulfillment. and it works by attaching reasons.
bad reasons to buy stuff
- impress someone
- procrastination or boredom
- to fit in
- fear of missing out
good reasons to buy stuff
- commemorate a milestone
- improve quality of life
- express yourself
- increase creativity
my reasons will be different from yours. what matters is resisting the temptation to cheat yourself with checkouts for bad reasons. only then can spending feel good.
(note: this post is not about charity or giving back. that is something we should do but not talk about)
a few months ago i shared an Apple Note with my wife, Toys for next exit. we added 15 items to the list, from small objects (robot vacuum) to wild projects. but most are attainable today, for example a 20 gauge shotgun, massage chair, and outdoor gym.
except i don’t deserve a new gun; i haven’t earned it. i don’t want a gaming PC, my seldom played PS5 is already great. we don’t need to finish the attic, we don’t have 2 kids yet.
by attaching a milestone or utility or prerequisite to purchases, they represent more than their intrinsic value. they serve as reminders that we saved, we waited, we resisted temptation, we were thoughtful.
to be clear: having a Toys list doesn’t encourage me to set bigger goals. it reminds me that i already have what i need. sometimes the stuff we don’t buy tastes better than the stuff we do.